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Even though each of you Point had a slightly different take on the story, all of you are right. I began to something of the truth after she was gone and our original relationship was over. She was more mature than I was in several respects.
She was a friend and a lover and a potential term partner. I'm not going to pretend she was in with me, but she was willing to if we had a term relationship potential.
That was the source of friction between us: she seemed willing to commit, but I just didn't get it. I knew she was considering looking beyond me, but I just didn't want to think about it, or I decided it wasn't important. When I sent her the CD, thinking it was just a peace offering or an emblem of friendship, I was also trying to salvage something of the genuine friendship that was mixed up in our "romantic" bond.
Then when I wrote her two years later, I made a half-assed attempt to aplogize for not treating her right.
She and her husband no longer newlyweds even must have thought I was a real loser. You know what? I was. You, it took me years to get a sense of what I almost had with her and to realize how quickly she grabbed the "right" opportunity.
I think she really found what she was looking for. As for myself, in those rare moments when I can look back with honesty, I the possibilities and the loss. It is now years later.
I have not had that LTR and I am tormented with the thoughts of what I had in my grasp and what has slipped away. Unless you guys process and understand what happened that ended your relationship the first time, it happen again.
I'm no expert obviously, but given that the dating relationship was only a few months old, I'd wager that it has to do with emotional intimacy. Something happened that confronted some barrier or boundary that she wasn't able to transcend and she pulled back. She didn't communicate it to you in a way that you could understand so you weren't ablt to support her through it. You didn't know what to do about her pulling back. While you both don't want it to happen again, if you don't do something to deepen the communication skills and deepen capacities to deal with barriers being emotionally intimate, all the hoping in the world isn't going to interrupt a repeat performance.
I've read the book and attended a few of their training conferences in SF area.
Highly recommended journey to learn how to transcend our defenses and to one's self and others deeply as an expression of our nature. Can't remember the year the book came out, but it got a Nautalis Award for books that impact the consciousness of humanity. These guys are at the top of the heap in teaching people all over the world the of, intimacy and deep communication they're all about deeply nurturing, satisfying and fulfilling relationships.
Unless you get on the court with some learning here, it would be naive not to expect a repeat of the past. And it sounds like you've got it too. I wouldnt wait too, if the pain is in your lower right side groin region, then its a good thats what it is. I had the same symptoms. Woke up one morning with a stomach ache, couldnt keep anything down, and it hurt to stand.
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